The Return
by SaharaTea
Summary: Post 4x12 one-shot. Quinn returns home after going missing and presumed dead in Syria. How will Carrie react?


He saw the blonde hair first and knew immediately it was her. She was standing on his front porch, arms crossed and not looking particularly friendly.

During his de-briefing at Langley Quinn both hoped and dreaded running into her. He certainly didn't expect her to show up on his doorstep. Suddenly fear gripped him more intensely than anything he had felt in Syria.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he approached the door slowly.

"What does it look like?" she said, hostility dripping from her voice. "Waiting for you of course."

Quinn unlocked the door and stepped into the dark apartment. She followed him in. He dropped his bag and turned to face her.

Getting formalities out of the way, Carrie asked him if he was ok and he nodded. Then she took a deep breath, reached into her jacket pocket, and held out an envelope.

Quinn froze.

"You wanna explain this?" she asked.

_Jesus Christ_, Quinn thought. He knew they had suspected he was dead, but he had no idea they had gone so far as to deliver his letter. Remembering too well the letter's contents, he swallowed nervously. "You read it?"

"Of course I read it. I read it after some _stranger_ delivered it to my door and told me you were _dead._ And that's what I believed for three days until we got word you were on your way home. Three days, Quinn."

Quinn didn't reply. He couldn't even look her in the eye. Furious, Carrie decided to rip into him with everything she had.

"What the _fuck_ Quinn? I ask you for more time and you leave on a fucking _mission_?" She shoved him hard.

Quinn stumbled backwards, shocked.

"I had a responsibility to those men."

"Responsibility my ass. You could have said no. What happened to your big speech about getting out and staying out?"

"Come on, Carrie, like you were really going to say yes?"

"You don't know what I was going to say, do you? Because you didn't wait for a _fucking answer_! You just left without a saying a word to me!"

Quinn just stared at her with a shell-shocked expression on his face.

Carrie could feel the tears welling up as she shook her head disgustedly. "You walked out on me," she accused. She strode right up to his face and shoved the envelope into his chest. "I will never forgive you for this!"

Desperate not to let him see her cry, she turned to flee out the door.

She had barely touched the doorknob when Quinn grabbed her arm and spun her around forcefully. "You're not leaving."

"Watch me!" she yelled, turning again and lunging for the door. All of a sudden both Quinn's arms were encircled around her from the back, preventing her arms from moving. She struggled against him halfheartedly, knowing it would be a losing battle. She fell to her knees and he fell with her.

"Do you have any idea what that letter did to me?" she cried, unable to hold back the tears any longer.

Quinn was breathing heavily. His mouth against her ear, he whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He whispered it over and over, holding her for what seemed like an eternity while they both suffocated under a mountain of regret. Sniffling, Carrie finally pushed his arms away and stood up, wiping away the tears. She had never meant to indulge in that embarrassing display.

"I have to go."

"Please don't leave," he begged. "We have to talk about this."

She shook her head. "I can't. I can't. Not now anyway." Carrie knew she was far too angry and emotional to have anything resembling a rational conversation with him. Besides, if she turned around and faced him now, she might never leave either. Without another word she opened the door and escaped into the night.

Feeling like the victim of a drive-by shooting, Quinn slid down the back of the wall and onto the floor again. The envelope lay there at his feet.

_Carrie,_

_I'm sorry that I left and I'm even sorrier that you have to read this. I already knew what your answer was going to be, and I was too much of a coward to hear it. You can't begin to know my regrets over everything left undone and unsaid between us. Know that I have never met a finer intelligence officer, or a stronger human being. Also know that my last thoughts on this earth were almost certainly of you. I wish you nothing but happiness in this life. Take care of that little girl, but most of all, take care of yourself._

_I love you,_

_Quinn_


End file.
